Recovered Alcoholic

Q :   Quick question maybe you can help me with. If a person who is an alcoholic has this disease for life, which I believe now, how can people claim to be recovered? I am certainly feeling strong and have no intention of drinking or drugging. I love my new sober life.  Am I recovered? I feel like I have a long way to go. I feel like it may always be right around the corner. A:   The Word Recovered is used over 20 times and is the first promise of the BB: " “We of Alcoholics Anonymous are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book." I personal identify with the word Recovered because I have. It's just the truth. Recovering means that you are in a constant state of getting over it. So it's like if I got the flu, and I no longer have it, I have recovered from it, right? Yes, I could get the flu again, ...

It is....Be sure to pray and ask to have God guide you. The reason is because "we" can't. If we could, we would have cleared this stuff out years ago and lead healthy productive and happy lives. We and the ego are one in the same until God can enter. He won't enter unless invited in, or asked daily. The ego. who we feed through all the frustrations and anger and resentment and guilt has dominion over us because it has the stronghold. We have giving it power though our use and our behavior.  Little things like gratitude lists, meetings, writing sponsor, keeps the pilot light lit, but it's in now way a fire....yet. Darkness enslaves us until we start feeding the light by gaining momentum toward God and feeding sustainable sobriety.  The 4th and 5th Step clears out enough wreckage and coupled with the foundation Steps 1-3, we can start to build upon a solid spiritual house. Before we we building from ego, fight or flight, drugs and alcohol, sadness and rage....no...

Yes...we are people pleases for sure. We kinda set it up that way from the start, so they just responded to what we allowed. We want to "fix/help" which is actually controlling and playing God. We don't want them to be angry, so we continue to attempt to "save the day" in order to keep from having to look at ourselves and what we have to do to fix us. If I am busy "fixing/control" them, then I don't have to fix me....and then I can play the martyr.  We learn how to handle this the further down we go in the defects step (Step 6) and find out when this started in Step 4. I can be of service, but I am not drained by service because I know how to mange my life now because I have proper motives. I am no longer afraid of saying no, nor to I care what anyone thinks of me. If they are mad or think I suck-oh well....that's their issue, not mine, Even with family...we do them a huge dis-service and are actually keeping them from total God reliance...

Hi _______, Yes, that was highly inappropriate. Not all of them are as easy as we were! lol!! The ego's of some (not all) of these women floors me at times-I would have never said that to my sponsor!!...When their ego's are this huge the are sometimes unteachable. That doesn't mean that they won't be someday, but right now they are just emotional vampires that are feeding off you. They are just like children....pushing buttons, testing, pushing the limits. They manipulate and make us second guess ourselves...this is because they are suppose to! This strengthens us, helps us to see what in us we need to perhaps work on. It takes one to know one which is why we can help when no one else can-most of the time. I know that I made a huge mistake with a few of them by treating them more as friends then I should of. This gave them an in to think that they were my contemporary....that they could give me unsolicited advise and commentary. No, we aren't above them, but ...

Hi ______, Yep, Adrenaline,Cortisol and Dopamine! Drama is a powerful drug and distraction. It blocks us from receiving God's light. We get "fed" from the drug, instead of the joy, peace, courage, strength and serenity that God has in store for you. Satan knows us, he knows our weaknesses....his little demons fed off what the body produces when we give into the emotions produced by drama. The drama and chaos that is caused mostly by our defects or unwillingness to accept the defects of others.  About the knowledge and you saying you "know better" because you read scripture....This is why when you read Bills Story and he talks about how he had been giving "knowledge" by Dr. Silkworth about the disease of alcoholism yet he still relapsed. He thought all he needed was information and self will. Many Christians know the bible backwards and forwards...many alcoholics know the big book of AA  backwards and forwards....but unless we have the true ...

Children need structure...they do not respond to calm conversation. If they can't behave themselves then there should be real consequences. But if we don't follow though with consequences for them, if we allow them to walk all over us because we feel "guilty" -then we are doing them a grave injustice.  We were just taking about this with my Step Son. He is a spoiled rotten brat...how do I know...because I was a spoiled rotten brat! Does that mean I wasn't sweet, kind and loving, or he...not at all...it's just that he and I never had structure. We just kept getting away with stuff. I carried this into adulthood and became a selfish-self seeking-self centered alcoholic....one reason was because I never had structure or discipline. My mom and his parents didn't parent...they guilt parented. Parenting from a place of guilt because they felt they had wronged the children by getting a divorce or drinking. Maybe they did, actually the did...BUT-that does...

This is part of the "obsession of the mind" part of our disease....A tool I learned early on was to ask myself ": What is the worst case scenario here?" Whats the worst case of you not getting it done "in time"? That you sponsor will yell and scream at you!  Since deep down you kinda know that that's not going to happen, you honestly tell your sponsor.... "Hey, I'm over thinking this a bit...I want to be thorough and really dig deep...is there anyway you can give me a little more time?" Worst case again...she say's no....which she wouldn't....Why, because you are being honest.  So by applying this same concept to everything that we worry about...then handing the outcome over to God, we won't worry so much. If I yell and scream and say no...that means that I am super unreasonable, and a little wacky, to which you would be better off with another sponsor! LOL!  What happens is that we feel like we have to worr...