Recovered Alcoholic

First Things First -Upon awakening, who do I contact to ground me back in and guide me? God. Not even my bodily functions come first. I seek God first because if I put my body or my racing mind over God, that sets the tone for who I will serve and make my higher HP that day. It's real, I don't just speak this for effect.  I have cats now, I never had cats before, and they can be very demanding and even take over if I let them. So when I heard them screaming in the next room for me to get up, as a woman, I have a natural tendency to soothe and tend to the crying baby first. If the baby is taking the form of a cat, my husband, step son, my dog, chickens, a sponsee, or my "inner child"...whoever is screaming the loudest, I will want to take over, control or fix the problem as a reaction without God guidance.  But because of my miswiring, Mothering my way has the spirit behind it which is rooted in worry and fear, and if untreated, looks lik...

12 years ago yesterday I started on a path and had no idea where that would lead-all I knew was that I couldn't continue to do what I was doing and for the first time in my life, I didn't want to die. I was a somewhat functioning alcoholic-meaning I was still employable; and for a long time was able to conceal the daily horror of having to repeat something that wasn't good for me only to give me superficial and temporary relief from my mind's constant chatter. I'm sure that has a label now, but back then I was just considered annoying, bothersome and ungrateful. I never felt comfortable in my skin-everyday felt like the first day of school, nervous, twisted guts, frustrated, and kind of angry that everyone else "knew" how to do life, and were generally ok with everything and everyone-so and I had to fake it or mimic them. I was a false representation of myself; I had no idea who I was and hated myself for the start. I seemed to have a predisposition to be ...