This is part of the "obsession of the mind" part of our disease....A tool I learned early on was to ask myself ":
What is the worst case scenario here?"
Whats the worst case of you not getting it done "in time"?
That you sponsor will yell and scream at you!
Since deep down you kinda know that that's not going to happen, you honestly tell your sponsor....
"Hey, I'm over thinking this a bit...I want to be thorough and really dig deep...is there anyway you can give me a little more time?"
Worst case again...she say's no....which she wouldn't....Why, because you are being honest.
So by applying this same concept to everything that we worry about...then handing the outcome over to God, we won't worry so much. If I yell and scream and say no...that means that I am super unreasonable, and a little wacky, to which you would be better off with another sponsor! LOL!
What happens is that we feel like we have to worry because that's all we know to do...The worry leads to telling little white lies about why we can't do this or that for fear of not looking perfect...then we have to cover up the lie...then we have to remember all the details of the lie we covered up.....It's exhausting! This is the stuff I would drink over, but didn't really even know that was what it was.
These little insults to the soul is when we start to get soul sick and disconnected from God. It adds up over the years. When we are doing the right thing, being honest, and turning the outcome over to God-then there is nothing to fear. If the other person involved doesn't see that, that's there issue.
People aren't as unreasonable as we make them out to be, nor do the care all that much...they have there own life. My point is that we were not put here to be people pleasers. We are here to do right by and to please God. It doesn't please God in the slightest when we are running around trying to look perfect to the world and not Him.
We can do kind things for others, be attentive, and be timely with our work...however, if we fail to meet the expectations of the other party, we (alcoholics) can't simply just say "whoops-I am so sorry, I forgot" we have to make up an excuse, lie or find a way to blame them....
We hardly ever take the route of just being honest or God forbid, looking less than perfect!! By being honest, admitting that we aren't perfect, excepting the outcome as God's will, and just facing it head on...there would be little to no worry-ever.
9 times out of 10, it wasn't even them who put the expectation on to us to begin with. We either made that our role, or played the role out of fear of some sort.
Take whatever you need from this, and put the stuff that doesn't apply away...it may be of use down the road or with someone else!
Love,
Hil