Recovered Alcoholic

  I didn't know HOW I could possibly get and stay SOBER! I never felt good, especially SOBER. From the time I was born I was   Restless, Irritable and Discontent.  When alcohol was removed, my medicine, I was much worse. The word  Restless ;  unable to rest or relax as a result of anxiety or boredom The word  Irritable ; abnormally sensitive; having or showing a tendency to be easily annoyed or made angry. The word  Discontent ; lack of contentment; dissatisfaction with one's circumstances; a person who is dissatisfied, typically with the prevailing social or political situation ME- ME- ME As a child, and on through until I found alcohol, I probably would have been diagnosed with Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar or whatever 3 to 4 letter label was popular at the time. But I didn't go that route and nor did my mom, to which I am grateful. I was actually suffering from the "isms" in alcoholism. My isms/defects are the by-product...

  "Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power? Well, that’s exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem." I wrote that the "hard" part was in learning to fully trust and rely on a power greater than myself, greater than human power, greater than booze, greater than labels, greater than titles and status, greater than money, greater than all the things and people I had made my higher power prior to knowing God.  Basically unlearning the old way I had done life in order to relearn how to do life on God's terms. I then read something about "trust" in another program's literature and then of course went to my good ol webster's college dictionary to look up the word Trust.  And there it was, right there in one of th...

I personally disagree with changing the words in our preamble. I, like Alcoholics Anonymous has expressed, while in meetings of AA or representing AA, we do not have an opinion on outside issues. The Alcoholics Anonymous preamble tells us that  A.A. is not allied with  any  sec t,  denomination ,  politics ,  organization or institution ;  does  not wish to engage in any controversy ,  neither endorses nor  opposes any causes . Our primary purpose is to stay sober and  help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. So in the same paragraph we are saying the complete opposite of what the preamble states if it is changed by our group -the preamble no longer stands in logic because it is a counter intuitive, a contrary statement... hypocrisy-a lie. This might be the most controversial issue and we are currently engaging in it. If we are honest we need to say the following:  We of ...

  " We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage . All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear. "- Pg 68 I recently quit smoking. This is the first time in my adult life I haven't been addicted to some sort of substance. I have done the back and forth nicotine dance, switching devices in which the nicotine was delivered into my system, but never attempted to fully quit. Just as when I was separated from alcohol, and then diet pills, I knew God could and would if he were sought. I have been praying for a while for the willingness to be free from this bondage; and then finally, over a ...

Tools I was given: Daily Gratitude list 1. I am grateful to God for getting/keeping me sober 2. I am grateful to God for giving me legs to go for a walk 3. I am grateful to God for keeping me from jail when I drove drunk. 4. I am grateful to God children are healthy....etc 5. I am grateful to God that I have use of all me senses 6. I am grateful for AA 7. I am grateful for coffee 8. I am grateful for running water 9. I am grateful the toilet works 10. I am grateful my dog came home...whatever....just as long as you are grateful for it or them. Plan of Action Reading all online meeting emails. Listening at face to face meetings to others, not thinking about how profound I want to sound when it's my turn. Get a box or jar and label it- God Box-all fears and bad thoughts about people or whatever can be written on a little piece of paper and put in the jar/box, symbolically giving it to God  Finding a face to face meeting/home group. Humbling myself to actually being in ...

  Therefore,  the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body.  If you ask him why he started on that last bender, the chances are he will offer you any  one of a hundred alibis . Sometimes  these excuses have a certain plausibility, but none of them really makes sense in the light of the havoc an alcoholic's drinking bout creates.  They sound like the philosophy of the man who,  having a headache, beats himself on the head with a hammer so that he can't feel the ache.  If you draw this fallacious reasoning to the attention of an alcoholic, he will laugh it off, or become irritated and refuse to talk. (My main problem centered in my mind, not my body. My mind can convince me a whole host of things are true if I am honest with myself. I made tons of excuses to drink-justify and rationalize, my mind feeds me reasons to put the poison in my system and to keep going back to the very thing that creates havoc and...

  “When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life —unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake." (pg. 417) Once that statement really and truly penetrated my stubborn being I was free. Game changer for sure! Where I live. Who I live with. Who died. Who drank. Who did this to me. What I did to them. Why does my sister have cerebral palsy. Why did dad abandon me. Why the innocent are harmed. Why was I hurt. EVERYTHING is for a reason even if I don't like it.  I could either accept whatever it is (not condone or support it) or keep fighting and be offended my entire life by what is.  I could spend my life in mourning, frustration and confusion, or I can take up my bed and walk each day.  I can gr...