Recovered Alcoholic

I had NO idea the solution was God when I first got here. I thought "I" will just stop drinking, go to a few meetings, and my life will just be better. First, "I" didn't just quit drinking...if it would have been me, I would have done it along time ago. It was all God. What he did was separate me from alcohol and gave me the will to live. What I did with that separation was up to me. It was a reprieve, then a removal of the obsession to drink, just for a moment. Full God reliance came later, which I learned through the Steps.  I had to replace my higher power, alcohol, with a new Higher Power-God...At that time it was a Group of Drunks.  I started to rely on God the way I relied on alcohol. Instead of going to the liquor store, I went to a meeting.  Instead of my afternoon drink I called my sponsor. Instead of passing out at night, I prayed. Instead of complaining, I wrote gratitude lists.  Instead of worrying, I wrote down my fears and put them in ...

  “Recovered”  We are not cured of alcoholism. Recovered, but not Cured? That presents a conflict to some Alcoholics. If we were cured, we would be able to drink responsibly. No, we are not cured.  The allergic reaction to Alcohol will remain with us for our lifetime. But we have been Restored to Sanity. That was the problem. “The main problem of the Alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in the body.” [p.23]  We are now Sane where Alcohol is concerned. Consequently, we have Recovered. 

Contempt Prior to Investigation     "There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which  cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance —that principle is  contempt prior to investigation. "  Most members of A.A. are familiar with this oft repeated quote. The concept has become part of the A.A. way of life.  (Big Book - Appendices II -  Big Book - Appendices II - Spiritual Experience - (pp. 567-568)   con·tempt: the feeling that a  person or a thing  is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn. pri-or: existing or coming  before in time,  order, or importance. in·ves·ti·ga·tion: the  action of investigating something or someone ; formal or systematic  examination or research. My life prior to AA was nothing but  contempt prior to investigation . Assumptions, judgments-and I had the answers for everything, so there ...

(Dr. Silkworth is talking about Bill asking him if he and the others could speak with the alcoholic patients in Townes Hospital) Many years ago one of the leading contributors to this book came under our care in this hospital and while here  he acquired some ideas which he put into practical application  at once. Later,  he requested the privilege of being allowed to tell his story to other patients here and with some misgiving, we consented.  The cases we have followed through have been most interesting; in fact, many of them are amazing. The unselfishness of these men  as we have come to know them,  the entire absence of profit motive, and their community spirit,  is indeed inspiring to one who has labored long and wearily in this alcoholic field. They believe in themselves,  and still more in the Power which pulls chronic alcoholics back from the gates of death. -Doctors Opinion pg xxvii The power that pulled me back from the g...

Step Six “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” “THIS is the Step that separates the men from the boys.”So declares a well-loved clergyman who happens to be one of A.A.'s greatest friends. He goes on to explain that any person capable of enough willingness and honesty to try repeatedly Step Six on all his faults— without any reservations whatever— has indeed come a long way spiritually, and is therefore entitled to be called a man who is sincerely trying to grow in the image and likeness of his own Creator." 12x12 Pg63 This is the Step where "rubber hits the road", as my favorite speaker puts it. Also, another speaker says, "if nothing changes, nothing changes" so I see this as a Step toward real change.  God of course decides what defects get removed and when; I just had to become willing. Part of that willingness for me was to identify the defect and then practice the opposite of the defect. Just like with ...

When I started this gig 5 years ago and saw this Step on the wall I thought to myself, "Sweet, I never hurt or harmed anyone but myself...no problem....these Steps are gonna be easy...lol! Smash cut to my second 5th Step, after doing a wishy washy first 4th and 5th Step- and saw that actually everyone on my 4th Step resentments was now to go onto my 8th Step-UMM, that sucks! The people I thought I would never "forgive", turned out they were the ones I caused the most harm to. My perception at the time was still very much in victim mode but the 4th and 5th reveled the truth. By this time I truly wanted to be free of bondage, so I prayed for the courage and willingness to go to any lengths to get right with my fellows, which got me right with God, which got me right with  myself....Once I finally reached them, owned what I had done, not bringing up anything they did (by then I didn't care, I just wanted to be free)- it was done. Like ___ said "I will no lo...

Some drinkers have excuses with which they are satisfied part of the time. But in their hearts they really do not know why they do it. Once this malady has a real hold, they are a baffled lot. There is the obsession that somehow, someday, they will beat the game. But they often suspect they are down for  the count.*Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition There Is A Solution, pg. 23 My alcoholic mind justified and rationalized the drink nearly everyday for 15 years. I didn't overcome these thoughts actually...I was brought to my knees out of a real desperation to live. For a split moment I actually didn't want to die. Every moment before that, for the last few months of my drinking career I prayed for death on a daily basis. The night of my separation, aka, last drink, I felt the hands of death wrapped around my neck-literally.  The next morning I emptied and threw out all my bottles, and finally threw away the empty ones that I had hidden (from who I don't know-maybe t...

I am trying to live each day of my life to the fullest and enjoy everything that God has given me for today! But we are careful not to drift into worry, remorse, or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others.  10/11Th Step Daily Worksheet 1. How was I Resentful (if so, do 4 column inventory)  2. How was I selfish? (i.e.; egotistical, self-seeking)?  3. How was I dishonest?  4. How was I afraid?  5. Do I owe and apology? Who did I help today?  6. Have I wrongly kept a secret?  7. Was I unkind? (i.e.; cruel, harsh, unfeeling)?  8. Was I unloving? (cold, unresponsive, indifferent)?  9. What could I have done better?  10. Was I thinking of myself most of the time?  11. Was I thinking of what I could do for others?  12. Was I Thinking of what I could pack into the stream of life?  After making our review we ask God’s forgiveness and inquire what ...