I am in amazement that something that had such a grasp on me, that I obsessed and suffered for and made my HP has been removed. I devoted about 20 years to alcohol as a solution for relief until AA taught me that there was another way.
The way of AA didn't involve temporary or instant relief from the symptoms of living life on self will like alcohol did...it involved surrendering it ALL over and becoming teachable to take up my bed and walk as a stable and free women. All my prior ways of doing life were systematically discarded to be made new.
God lifted the obsession to drink as I set out to learn what it means to have a sane response in regards to alcohol. I absolutely cannot drink ever again. I have an allergy that results in an obsession that turns into the phenomenon of craving something that is poisonous, toxic and will kill me-but it has the power to tell me otherwise.
It will convince me if I consume just one drop, that I can handle it this time. I will then go to any lengths to keep that going even to my own destruction. Not even a animal will do this, but I will. It's a real mutation to go to any lengths to self destruct and it is not normal.
So where alcohol is concerned, I have absolutely been restored to sanity. The spiritual condition gets treated by working my whole program that is designed to keep my life functional and thriving and my spirit growing so that I never allow my mind to convince me that drinking is a recourse to a temporary problem that I am having.
Instead, I learned to trust God which leads me into trusting myself to make smarter decisions and this keeps my life manageable and my thinking rational. I KNOW myself. I know God, I know that I am known by God and I know no matter what God will see me through any and all trials or tribulations-in my personal life or on the world stage...I will be given a sound mind, discernment and courage...what more could a girl ask for??
In sobriety I found that I was not whole in other areas so to be able to use my new employer and program to get sanity in those areas too has been monumental in my ever growing and evolving spirit. The more whole I get in all areas, the less holes I have in my armor that bring about discourse and defects.
Obsession over ANYTHING is an ''in'' to our cunning and baffling disease that is just sitting right next to me waiting for a way in. It is my job and responsibility as a Woman in God, an adult, a member of AA, my family and society to get whole so that I do not add to the confusion and discourse to feed an obsession which robs me of logic and critical thinking.
If I do not have the self control to stop the obsession or sanity enough to see the destruction in looping it, then I need a spiritual experience to be restored to sanity. God's grace through the removal of the obsession will always-not sometimes, always, provide a way out provided I want to be free.
Some obsessions admittedly are fun, amusing, exciting and distracting, so that I don't have to grow up-but the real alcoholic over time, will usually will get annoyed enough to reach a bottom and cry out for help.
It's now up to me to determine how long I choose to suffer with obsession over things I cant or won't change. Thankfully I am aware enough to see it and even admit it...''Yeah, I kinda like spinning out about this....not ready to let it go''.
That's fine-I can suffer, but I do not have the right to infect others with my obsessions. Thankfully, we have other programs and God to address that part.