"Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead. We must take the lead. A remorseful mumbling that we are sorry won't fill the bill at all. We ought to sit down with the family and frankly analyze the past as we now see it, being very careful not to criticize them. Their defects may be glaring, but the chances are that our own actions are partly responsible. So we clean house with the family, asking each morning in meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love.
The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. Unless one's family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles we think we ought not to urge them. We should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters. They will change in time. Our behavior will convince them more than our words. We must remember that ten or twenty years of drunkenness would make a skeptic out of anyone.
There may be some wrongs we can never fully right. We don't worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could. Some people cannot be seen - we send them an honest letter. And there may be a valid reason for postponement in some cases. But we don't delay if it can be avoided. We should be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping. As God's people we stand on our feet; we don't crawl before anyone." BB Page 83
Hey ____,
You got it. You know she is spiritually sick. Yes, we pray for them and never allow ourselves to become their personal punching bag. At some point she is going to have to look at herself instead of blaming you. You take yourself out of the equation by removing yourself without words. No need to exchange any at this point. This stuff feeds her demons, her spiritual sickness. If you aren't responding then what has she got? You did your part-it's done.
I'm with Jan in that if she sends you more hateful content that you not read it. She doesn't have the right to infect you with words anymore. In this modern age we can instantly send an email, text or call, in fits of anger and rage. Think about how back in the day when they sent letters...they had to sit and write all that, address the envelope, put a stamp on it and then walk to the mail box and send it....I'm sure by that time the anger had surpassed and they wouldn't send it. If they did then they must have really been pissed to go to all that trouble! LOL! I say that because in AA we talk about "pausing" and thinking it through....others do not have the wonderful tools that we we have-we are so blessed.
Yesterday my neighbor started screaming at me about my dog going in his yard....I mean totally screaming at me. His anger was off the charts and made no sense to me considering the situation so I knew I was a target of his misdirect anger. I said to him "Why can't you just be a gentlemen and stop yelling at me and calmly come over and tell me what the issue is so that I can do something about it instead of yelling at me??" He wouldn't hear that-just keep yelling.
I went in the house and instantly got on my knees and started praying for him. I didn't personalize it. I did call my sponsor and tell her what happen. She told me that I had to make amends and make him cookies. UHG!! But, I must still be willing to go to any lengths....so I did. And as Jesus said-I'm paraphrasing "what's the reward for forgiving and loving those that already love and forgive you-forgive those who hate you."
Before I went over to bring the cookies I cried and prayed because it's NOT easy to do this shit! LOLOL!! God filled me up with his courage and strength to do this. I walked over and he was standing there, arms crossed, still angry and wanting a confrontation. I said "Hello, I have something for you"...and handing him the cookies and apologized for my dog being in his yard. His anger melted away instantly. He apologized and proceeded to open up to me about his anger. He is 65 and tiered of being pushed around by the world. Most men are going through this right now. Pray for our men, as they have been beaten down so. Anyway, it was a lovely conversation and I am so grateful my sponsor suggested it and God gave me the courage to do it. We we both relieve of out anger, and it was over.
Those types of resentments people hang onto for years. I didn't want him to suffer with that even though he was complete cruel to me. ALL GOD....Never in a million years would I have done that or felt that. I would have carried that with me, and him too, justifying infecting other relationships with our anger and I would have used that as an excuse to play the victim because of it.
WE are not victims unless we allow ourselves to be victimized. I know with Gods power and the tools of AA we can rise above that petty stuff that keeps us and them. He got free too.
You are doing it! How cool is that? We are operating in the Sunlight of the Holy Spirit and do not have to get bogged down in hate and anger that the others do. He got to see what God looks like through my action. Good stuff!
No, there is nothing to worry about when we have God and trust Him. The money will come to pay for cat....Our ego finds things to obsess and worry about-that's it job. We don't have to toil or spin out over anything anymore. We give it do God and ask for the courage strength and wisdom to walk through and rise above whatever life hands us.
What's going on with sponsoring? Are you raising your hand to sponsor? Did you put yourself on list? I fasted for 3 days twice so far. I plan on doing 7 days next. They say after the third day the hunger goes away. Jesus and other Christians fast 40 days to completely reset the body-to kill off all disease and to get closer to God. Jesus never said "if you fast" he said "when you fast"
We don't need as much food as we think. Here is a video of some testimonies on fasting. I feel like shit so I know I need to fast soon.
I love you...keep going, keep growing!
Hil
Matthew 5:45-48
That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
Matthew 22:36-40
"Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."