Good Morning,
My name is Hilarie and I am a Recovered alcoholic....
This stood out to me "We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will." as I hadn't noticed the "proper use of the will" part before.
It was hard for me at first to trust that God's will was better than mine. My will was usually obtained by sneaky and manipulative means, therefore dark and misaligned with God's will which meant that eventually my plan/will would come crashing down. Maybe not right away, but if it's not in accordance to God's will, it's wrong and will be dismantled. This is done NOT to punish me or hurt me, this is done to get me back on track with him and what he has planned for me. My decisions that are acted upon formed by impure motive, thought, or any agenda that is not Gods, that's what creates havoc and drama. Not them, not God, all me.
God is Pure. God is Truth. God is Good, and so is his will; even if my tiny worldly obtained intellect doesn't understand or see the big picture. If I accept that as fact, believe that, and then trust that, then I will have real peace and serenity in my life. The less I think and overcomplicate things, which I will and do, the better off everyone is! God will always make sure that I am provided for, fed, safe, joyful when I apply the very simple "thy will, not mine be done" as Faye talked about. It's when I want what I want when I want it, or insist on "more" and/or again, manipulate a situation to get my desired results-that's when I suffer.
My entire life I went against God's will and my choices resulted in a soul sickness that only a spiritual experience could heal. I manipulated, lied, cheated, stole, drank; was a horrible employee, friend, girlfriend, daughter and sister (unless I was trying to get something) and then blamed God!?!? LOL! Even now in sobriety, if I manipulate, even a little, even with "good intentions" it is still a misuse of my will because of the way I am choosing to execute it. When I pray for something for myself or for someone, I always say, "Father, if this be your will, in Jesus name" If it doesn't happen, then it's not in my or their best interest-period. I have accepted that and trust that. Who am I to know what's best for me or them? I thought drinking was best for me. I thought my exes were best for me. I thought lying, gossiping and sleeping around was a good for me....my soul thought otherwise and God stepped in.
My mind will try to convince my soul and even attempt find loopholes in God-God laughs I'm sure...like any parent would...like when you see your child trying to sneak about the house trying to find the toy that you have taking away, or getting caught with hand in cookie jar....it's actually cute and you smile to yourself, but you have to by firm and say NO....that's all God does....we just press on in stubbornness, taking our will right back, sometime minutes after I have prayed and turned it over!
Then there are those super painful incidents that are almost unbarble at the time....For me when God had had to Step in a remove me from a relationship, or alcohol, home, or ideas, or concepts, or whatever I need pruned away that I desperately wanted and fought so hard against him taking from me....
If your child is playing with a knife, would you just go along with it and let him do it? Or would you step in and remove the knife?? These days I'm sure you would be frowned upon for not letting you child explore his options and figure it out for himself if he will get cut, but I digress....
When you Step in, like any good parent would, and that child holds on tighter to that knife and cuts themselves but still holds on because the screaming child wants what he wants even though he is hurting himself....that child's will for wanting that object overrides the pain he is inflicting on himself by holding on to it.....You are probably crying at this point too! Seeing your child bleeding, in pain, but also pissed off that he won't let go!!
That's my alcoholic will right there. And God loves me so much that he removed ALL that he had to get me back. Wow, right? I mean what parent wouldn't???
Thanks for letting me share!
Hilarie
4/8//14
"But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me."-Matthew 10:33-38