Good Morning Ladies!!
I am pretty much all moved in-well, he is. I am still going to be living with my sister until we get married. I am at the new house now and am in the re decorating phase. As many of you know I chose to move in with my sister a while back as it no longer felt ok with my soul to continue to live with him, or to me intimate with him not being married. (In no way to I judge anyone who does! This is a personal decision between me and Jesus) We had become stagnant in the relationship in that we were stuck. Looping the same arguments and not moving forward, etc. We will probably get married at anytime-so don't be surprised if one day I just announced that I am married...lol! We are choosing to elope when we do. As I am more interested in having a marriage then a wedding.
Changing up my email/blog a bit too. Change is good! I If I am not changing and growing-I am dying...stuck, looping patterns, so I don't have to do the real work it requires to get "unstuck". Today I asked Jesus what he would like me to convey...So instead of doing a bible study, I will just ask Him to tell me each day the topic and go from there....Randomly opening the bible-I have a King James teaching bible from the 60's and in the back is references about specific topics and the chapter and verse that goes with it....So there it was...the word "Selfishness" ...fitting since our program tell us that Selfish and Self Centered is the root of our troubles! (bb-pg 62) I also opened my email and a blog I follow http://privilegedaddictwriter.blogspot.com was talking about the same defect. See how He works!?!
Big Book-Selfishness
"Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt." -Pg 62
"He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish."-Pg 21
"Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits."-Pg 61
"Best of all, I met a kind doctor who explained that though certainly selfish and foolish, I had been seriously ill, bodily and mentally."-Pg 7
"The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted. Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept the home in turmoil."-Pg 82
"When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? "-Pg 86
"We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt? Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness? Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? We got this all down on paper and looked at it."-Pg-69
"Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame? The inventory was ours, not the other man's."-Pg-67
"In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life. We subjected each relation to this test - was it selfish or not? We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them. We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed."-69
"We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn't work. You can easily see why."-Pg 87
Turn Around
"No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves."-Pg 84
Hil's Blah
The thing is that I had no idea I was so selfish. Because I was the consummate victim, I was absolutely incapable of seeing that. I was self deprecating as hell, but my pride was just as strong. Conflicted always between thinking I was garbage yet all knowing-Stupid but smart-Ugly and beautiful-good but bad....Ya know?? How could I be anything but selfish with the insanity going on in my head at all times....I had no time to think about you! I had arguments to have in head, judgments to make, fires to put out, fear of losing job everyday, fear of getting kicked out everyday, fear of him finding out who I really am-I am NOT kidding you, my fears were all day everyday until I got my drink....
Oh, and deflecting your defects onto others so that you don't have to look at yourself-not cool. You choose them. What is wrong with you that made you choose them? Seriously. Say to yourself-'What were my selfish motives for choosing this person? What fear was involved? What part of my sickness told me that this sociopath is good for me? Where did this start? Am I the real sociopath here? We must take our own inventory....I have wasted too much time taking their's-guess what, I can't do anything about who and what they are. I can only change me. Spending that amount of energy obsessing on them is nothing but a way to not have to look at your selfishness :)
Bible Verses-Selfishness
Luke 6:32-34
For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them. And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same. And if ye lend [to them] of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.
Romans 15:1-3
We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let every one of us please [his] neighbour for [his] good to edification. For even Christ pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell on me.
1 Corinthians 10:24
Let no man seek his own, but every man another's [wealth].
1 Corinthians 13:4-6
Charity suffereth long, [and] is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Galatians 5:26
Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.
Galatians 6:2
Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.
Philippians 2:3-4
Let] nothing [be done] through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
Philippians 2:4
Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
Philippians 2:21
For all seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ's.
1 Timothy 6:17-19
Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy; That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate; Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.
2 Timothy 2:4
No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of [this] life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier.
2 Timothy 3:2-4
For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
Hebrews 13:16
But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.
James 3:16
For where envying and strife [is], there [is] confusion and every evil work.
James 4:1-2
From whence [come] wars and fightings among you? [come they] not hence, [even] of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.
1 John 3:17
But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels [of compassion] from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?
The Privileged Addict
If It Looks and Smells Like a Shit...
... it's probably a shit.
If it speaks selfishly, thinks selfishly and acts selfishly, it's probably selfish.
Why can't we just call a spade a spade anymore?
Understanding addiction and recovery does not require an advanced degree, although today one must question the contents of the degree itself. Why does the medical establishment refuse to admit that addiction is caused by nothing more than selfish action and it's only defense is unselfish action. I tracked some more search results for you from the last day or so. The list is completely unedited except for omitting all the 'privileged addict' searches.
Let the people whose lives are so deeply affected by us tell you the truth about addiction:
Why are drunks cowards?
Does alcoholism make you useless? (Lol, does the sun rise?)
are alcoholics selfish
alcoholics playing the victim
are all alcoholics selfish
why are alcoholics so selfish
addicted to being the victim
boyfriend is an alcoholic and our relationship will never be what I want
fear of writing my inventory
when an alcoholic tell you they care and then pushes you away
are alcoholics selfish
alcoholics are so selfish
addicts suck
recovering addicts still seflish
alcoholics are selfish
narcissist as victim
psychotherapy is a bunch of nonsense
alcohol treatment centers have watered down aa
alcoholic husband has everybody fooled
alcoholics are so selfish
why alcoholics hurt people
the hurt from an alcoholic
why are alcoholics so selfish
living amend
why is alcohol so selfish
alcohol broke my son's spirit
recovering addicts never apologize
alcoholics are so annoying (um, no one says this about people with cancer)
why do alcoholics tell you they care...
alcoholics are selfish
are alcoholics selfish
aa how to become less selfish
how to love from a distance
examples of resentments
is someone selfish when they are an alcoholic
will the alcoholic miss me
mental obsession addiction
is alcoholism really a disease
dating an alcoholic
how to stay sober forever
addicted to victimhood
alcoholic men are pathetic and nasty
alcoholics are selfish
do alcoholics turn mean
alcohol and selfishness
recovering alcoholic is still so selfish
frothy emotional appeal
projection is active addiction
why triggers don't exist
why does a person hurt the one the...
alcoholics are so annoying
can a narcissist change with God (A narcissist? Sorry, nope... although miracles happen;)
addicts that still have a moral compass (Huh?)
why are alcoholics selfish
why are addicts so selfish
alcoholics don't care
why does he hurt us?
God, teach me to better love people. Teach me how to make my family feel loved, safe and comforted, that they may have greater peace, happiness and joy. Teach me to let go completely and give my entire life over to You. Teach me to accept everything...
Todays Action
- Write down all the way you are still selfish in sobriety
- Write ways you can practice being Selfless
- Spend some time with your Creator asking him to shine the light on where this steams from and ask it to be removed
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. -John 14:6