Recovered Alcoholic

I am so g rateful for the suggested program of action that made it possible for me to live sober!! We don't sober people up here, we do not have the power to get, or keep anyone sober, let alone ourselves, hense Step 1!! God I think got sick of seeing his most destructive, self hating, egocentric and stubborn children die, and knowing that we would only hear the sound of certain words, that this may redirect us from the path of rebellion, to the way home. If something is "suggested" rather than enforced, I am more likely to open my mind to receive the information. The torment made me willing and the wording made it possible for the message to be received. The continued process/program of daily action keeps clearing more and more of the false constructs and identities, perceptions and conceptions that block out the Sunlight of the Spirit. The more nourishment I get from God, the less likely I am to make you my God which causes m...

Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, t hough he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible . And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on o...

  "Perhaps one of the greatest rewards of meditation and prayer is the sense of belonging that comes to us.  We no longer live in a completely hostile world.  We are no longer lost and frightened and purposeless.  The moment we catch even a glimpse of God's will, the moment we begin to see truth, justice, and love as the real and eternal things in life, we are no longer deeply disturbed by all the seeing evidence to the contrary that surrounds us in purely human affairs.  We know that God lovingly watches over us.  We know that when we turn to Him, all will be well with us, here and hereafter." pg 105 I always thought that the world was completely hostile-all of it, and everyone else was too!  But because of my relationship with God through prayer and meditation, I only see some of it, and some of them as hostile. What I allow in will determine who and what I serve each day and how I will respond to the things that come up. It's a daily rep...

Cunning - having or showing skill in achieving one's ends by  deceit  or  evasion  or   attractive or quaint Baffling -impossible to understand; perplexing or restrain or regulate Powerful -having control and influence over people and events. or  having or producing great force or energy. Remember that we deal with alcohol—cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power—that One is God. May you find Him now! pg54 All aspects of this dis-ease is cunning and baffling. So I had a "thought"  (all action begins with a thought)  the other day   to do something that I didn't bring God into and it of course snowballed and blew up in my face. So even though I know not to do that, I allowed my mind to convince me that "this time will be different" (insanity) just like I did when I was drinking. With the biggies like this I should have conferred with God first and allowed a cou...

"To return to the subject matter of this book: It contains full suggestions by which the employee may solve his problem. To you, some of the ideas which it contains are novel. Perhaps you are not quite in sympathy with the approach we suggest. By no means do we offer it as the last word on this subject, but so far as we are concerned, it has worked with us. After all, are you not looking for results rather than methods?" pg 144 To the Employers Results, rather than methods. At the time of my bottom in April of 2014, if someone would have offered me a pill or a free stint in a rehab instead of having to walk the hour it took to get to my first AA meeting at a church and then ask a complete stranger to sponsor me, I would have honestly taken them up on the offer. The truth is that I had nowhere else to go-I had finally ran out of road and AA was indeed the last house on the block. In that state of surrender I really wasn't spending too much time or energy protesting the met...

  “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.  Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women   who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves .”  (pg. 58) Big Book on page 87, “As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and  ask for the right thought or action .  We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show,  humbly saying to ourselves many times each day, “Thy will be done.”     What specific tools have you learned from the program?  How do you stay honest with yourself and stay “on the beam” of A.A.?  In what ways have you made A.A. your way of life? I am going through it right now as I feel somewhat destabilized by what is going on in my immediate surroundings. I am not sure how to proceed except to just get as still as possible and allow the truth to be...