"This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code."
I was taught early on I have time to mentally take your inventory, my neighbors inventory, the guy online who doesn't share my views inventory, my husbands inventory, watch tv, comment on posts, make a million and one judgments about what others are or are not doing; then surely I can make time to take my own inventory.
I, not you, must do my due diligence to ensure my messes are cleaned up quickly and that I haven't picked up any new obsessions that would distract me from my primary purpose so that my connection to God is kept clean and clear. I can hear better when that connection isn't distorted.
We continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along.
I can't stress enough that it say personal inventory, not other peoples inventory. They are simply mirroring back stuff I need to look at with me. So using them to deflect this only makes my connection to truth muddy because now I'm in a delusion bubble that's getting fueled by blame and complacency.
We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past
Where am I being impatient or intolerant and why?
How am I being selfish and self seeking today?
Have I been dishonest or afraid and why?
Why am I not trusting God? What can I control and what can't I control?
It doesn't mean I will know that day, but at least I can start the ball rolling with some real introspection...Vigorously means: in a way that involves physical strength, effort, or energy; strenuously.
If I put no real effort into something I will get back the results of no real effort.
If I put effort and energy into something, I will get back the results of real effort.
I just have to ask myself daily "am I putting real effort toward God and the solution or real effort in the dis-eases and dis-orders of others? And I have to be honest-otherwise I am again, in a delusion bubble because I don't want to participate with my recovery.
Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness.
What does that mean in terms of higher learning in academia or a job promotion?? That means taking more classes, studying, researching, learning a new skill and learning a new position. I can't be effective in my new role in the World of the Spirit if I am idol in AA or my walk with God.
It should continue for our lifetime
I don't see the point of life if I am not introspective and learning more about who I am...the good and the bad. And learning who God wants to turn me into. I am here to heal, help others heal, serve, learn, and grow-not spin out over what others are doing or what new drama is unfolding on the black screens. When I go outside and actually look around, there is nothing but peace. So if I would rather have the drama on the screen, then I need to ask myself why I'm scared of peace?
Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them.
When, not if. They will crop up. It's my job as a maturing woman in the Spirit to proactively and responsible clean it up and ask God to remove the compulsion to do whatever it is that is holding me back.
We make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code."
Resolutely: in an admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering manner.
If I took time and energy from someone with motives that were not pure and harm was caused, I need to pay that back. Energy exchange is very real. So once I amend that, I can pay back by helping someone. But I can fix something I won't allow myself to see which is why we do daily inventory and pray that we are giving the eyes to see the truth about ourselves. If I still can't see it then I may need help from a sponsor who isn't in fear of what I am in fear of so her perspective can help me to get clarity.
God will not give us more that we can handle, so the truth is revealed in spurts to not overload the circuit. We are not asked a lot here...we're talking about normal and healthy assessment of what we do and why we do it...and then to hopefully help others with that information once we have processed it.
Staying stuck in a lie out of fear of being wrong is no longer an option. That is a "luxury" that has the power to kill me. So it's just easier to do my daily inventory!