Meeting Topic: Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts, and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn't belong. Step Five was the answer. It was the beginning of true kinship with man and God.

Kinship

Kin-a group of persons of common ancestry : clan

Ship-a large seagoing vessel, especially : one propelled by power or sail....

I'm always searching for the metaphor in language regarding spiritual concepts that are manifested by putting divine truths together by spelling them into letters that form words that form concepts based upon where the being is spiritually, emotionally and physically. I feel like maybe there was a time when words were not necessary, and perhaps we communicated through telepathy or something else-maybe light, or just knowing. 

Sometimes I think that navigating the world of words without knowing or having spiritual principles and without God, is where the concept of the Tower of Babel comes from-just a lot of harsh sharp icky noise from a LOT of people babbling. All this expression of self can certainly come to a loud and obnoxious crescendo-(talking about me here when I fall short)

Step 5 is where I learn that trusting someone else and trusting in God feels much better than doing life the way I was doing it. I felt a part of AA and not in the worldly way I was taught, or thought- which was the perspective of fitting in, going along to get along, compromising my values or morals for love, statis, attention or recognition...that is what I thought belonging was-even in my family. 

I love my family but they were/are spiritually sick. They had/have no desire to get well...which is fine, I can still love them, but the true kinship I find is with those propelled by God in the common solution to get well and help others. 

The word Ship being used as a vessel, like the body is a vessel to house the soul and intent. I am in a vehicle propelled by God which makes my lightbody whole, a Ship holes sinks. The Ship can be propelled by other powers too that my temporally plug up the holes to get me to do it's bidding, so I must always make sure I align and re-align to the power I willingly want to serve.

The Kin are my fellows that have the same purpose and mission to know God, to serve God, and to ultimately become a wayshower to God....that is my Tribe, Clan, People. 

I allowed a stranger into my icky mind that propelled me to do things that toxified my ship and spirit and the ships and spirits of others. I didn't want to admit that because it was easier to go through life being a victim of everyone else; that they were the ones who did this to me allowed me to not own my part and the residue of these decisions-and delusion is like heavy metal and calcium build up on the brian that overtime it starts to deteriorate-just like anything.

I just kept getting slammed by life over and over like the waves crashing into the beach-I couldn't stand up to walk out and off the beach, and I couldn't get pulled into the abyss of the sea either...just back and forth, over and over, same pattern. 

This stranger woman came to my beach, and basically said "take up your bed and and walk" -"walk with me off this beach..you don't have to keep doing this!!" and I did-I followed her until I could walk upright and walk with God. I now get to be the light for another Ship lost at sea or beached and too weak to walk. 

This is what we are to do-not because I am perfect, but because I lived the problem and now live the solution. We are not creating codependents either. When you are truly serving God you do not want dependents or worshippers-you want your fellow beings to walk tall, courageous and confidently with their HP. 

I wasn't gifted sobriety to keep up with the Joneses or fall for the next thing that is supposed to derail my walk and bring me into a state of cowardness because a box in my living room tells me I should fear. I am charged to walk upright, grow spiritually, and help others that were once where I was. Anything more than that is ego-and when I serve ego I just feel icky and out of sorts. 

Everyday I must align to divine right order by asking God "where are we going today?" This keeps me from making you, them or it my HP and keeps me free. That doesn't mean I don't take the reins and willingly knock myself off of course, because I do, but I have developed a quick rebound through consistency so what would have taken me years to recalibrate from, takes minutes and at the very most a day. 

The oscillation of molecules of my Ship is determined by my capacity to retract back to sorce which determines my vibritoiry path for the day. So when they say "High Vibe" it's literally referring to the vibration of the rebound/turn/around/recalibration from a life lesson-cool huh? 

The low road, low vibe is when I allow the thing or being to snowball into other decisions based upon that event or shutting down all together or by blaming. I forgive them to keep my molecules oscillating at a high rate...if they want to take the low road, that's on them...but if they want a way out, I can show them without being taken down.