I try to incorporate all Steps in my day, but sometimes I fall short, especially when it comes to Steps 9 and 5. Sometimes I don't want to amend or admit to God, myself and another person the exact nature of my wrongs. When I don't apply those specific Steps into my daily life it will just make my next annual 4th Step that much harder as whatever it is still "there", just suppressed in self righteous indignation and pride.
But when I am "on the beam" this is how I am personally able to incorporate all the Steps into my daily life:
Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
I admit that I am powerless over alcohol; that I can't delude myself into ever thinking that I don't have an allergy to it, that this time I will not have an abnormal reaction to it. That I won't develop the phenomenon of craving....If I drink ever, I am done for.
I also identify the areas of my life where I am experiencing current unmanageability to avoid becoming obsessed with what I am powerless over. Obsessing for me is part of my dis-ease-cunning, baffling and powerful. I can be conceived, and then consumed by a juicy obsession if not vigilant. So maybe I am obsessed with what my husband isn't or is doing. If I admit I am powerless over him,. that my obsession causes me unmanageability, then I have 11 more Steps to support me in getting free from this!
Step 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
I come to believe that I will be restored to sanity, wholeness in mind...that based upon my past experience with God and based upon the experience of others, I believe I too can be restored and freed from the bondage of self.
Step 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
I make a decision to follow through with the remaining Steps.
Step 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
I identify who and the cause, I don't bury it. I fearlessly face it head on now even if it's not favorable to the obsession. What parts of myself are affected by what I perceive to be at threat? Where am I at fault? How did I get the ball rolling? Do I have an expectation on someone to be different or to change just to accommodate me? Where I am selfish, self seeking, frightened or dishonest?
Step 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
I admit what was revealed to me about me-not them, to God and to another person. I can get a different perspective on it, more truth, whatever God or that other person gets from God. I make sure that the person is not attached to them or the resentment and isn't gonna feed any of my defects because they want to spare my feelings...so friends and family members usually are not ideal unless they can be objective and honest with me. In other words, taking my side so that we can sit around and "vent" about someone behind their back isn't an option.
Step 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Because I have identified the root defect associated with the resentment I am now entirely willing to give it over to God.
Step 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings
I actually humble ask Him to remove my shortcomings. I don't beg, cry or plead anymore. I just humbly accept my imperfections and just ask.
Step 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
I am clear on who I need to make amends to and why...I become willing even if I don't want to.
Step 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
I make the amends-I tell them where I fell short and ask if I can do anything to make it right. I stop that behavior of having an expectation (I consciously make a real effort to not do it anymore until it's removed entirely)
Step 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Step 10 is inventory, it is daily 1-9-condensed...so that I make amends and not just leave stuff hanging. With some circumstances I can do a easy metal inventory and make proper amends without pen to paper, but sometimes I need to dig deeper so this stuff doesn't escalate or get buried
Step 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Making contact with God through meditation and prayer. I walk, I think, I ponder, I talk to Him out loud, I question things, I practice gratitude....to me that is meditation....I pray all day, everyday-but formally asking for His will in the morning and night
Step 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
I continue to practice all the principles daily and I attempt to carry the message in some shape or form coming from a direct result of having a spiritual awakening, the educational variety (see Big Book pg 567-568)-not white light. Everyday is a spiritual awakening if I change my perception of what one is.
This is a way of life for me which is actually not that hard to carry out compared to the hell alternative of waking up feeling like crap, ashamed, hiding, sneaking, lying, manipulating...yeah, I don't miss it. Thank you God for our program!!