Some of us have tried to hold onto our old ideas and the result was nil, until we let go absolutely.
What are your old ideas?
That I have power over others.
That I can manipulate God's plans and design them to fit mine
That I can use and harm people, including myself (sexually, mentally, physically, spiritually) because who cares; they gonna hurt me so I better do it first
That I don't have a allergy (physical, mental and spiritual) to alcohol
That I don't have to see the logical points made by those who I deemed "not on my team" whether that be religious, political or otherwise
That I am right about everything
That going along to get along is the right thing to do because it's popular and I don't want to be shamed
That if I don't indulge my defects that I won't be able to survive
Just all of who I once was has been let go of, not gone completely but damn near.
Are you willing to let go of them? Absolutely let go?
Yes, I do not want to ever again get stuck in conceptions or perceptions that kept me captive for fear of being deemed a flip flopper. It's more dangerous for me to be "set in my ways" more like stuck in my ways.
I had to concede that maybe I was on the wrong team. Maybe I don't have to conform to any team. Maybe instead of a hill to die on, I seek a hill to grow on. Maybe there is something outside of the left/right paradigm that my perceptions and conceptions are not allowing me to see because I am too frightened of being wrong about everything my entire life.
If I let go of my stubborn nature, just fell on my face and say "I don't know!" "God, just reveal to me your truth, wisdom and knowledge, not mine, not the news information, not the school taught information, make me teachable to you and show me the truth no matter what my intellect tells me. No matter what my religion or denomination or people in authority say. Even if it's extremely uncomfortable and I have to admit that to you I believed the lie and went along with it because it was too painful for me to admit to myself that I did these things from a place of complacency; because it was softer and easier for me...I don't care...I just want the truth!!"
I pray for courage to hear the truth from Him directly, to not conform to lies anymore just because it is popular and easier for me; and on the surface, interpreted by my emotions and feelings, may even seem correct. I ask for the spiritual principles and implications of consenting to things my new gut tells me is wrong.
I have let go of old information for new information to come through. If I am holding onto "it" it's because my ego, defects and dis-ease needs the old information to survive; I need to ask myself why am I feeding this parasite that uses me as a host to survive? Can I just let go absolutely and be completely wrong to become teachable and accountable to the Spirit? Can I see that no new information, wisdom, knowledge or truth can come into a bogged down brain and closed heart...
Am I willing to be wrong about everything? And if that means enduring a complete ego annihilation in order to get right by this Power I call God, then bring it. The other way, the soul crushing- horrific- groundhog day that is saturated in fear, yuck and distortion; mind fracturing, bending my brain to accommodate nonsense so that I can fit into the illogical popular opinion so I don't feel shamed by the public?!? Really?? Bring on the ego deconstruction!
When I accepted illogical before, my spiritual malady almost took me out-not just out in the physical, but out in the spiritual. I was riddled with conceptions-virused by them. I would rather be right by my God than accepted by my peers. Just because it's popular, doesn't make it right.
If a society, a religious organization, denomination, empire, nation, or AA groups go reprobate (unprincipled), and start conforming to agendas in order to fit or go along with the mainstream popular narrative, the house is divided and will not stand. It will be corrupt and break down. Same with the spiritually body.
If an organization or person is out of alignment with these principles, it is no longer spiritual or divinely protected. It's not a punishment per say, it feels like it...being cut off from the spirit is painful but it's because I went along with it, the group went along with it, hence we get cut off. Spiritual law does not support reprobate (
If I am in a constant battle with myself I create schisms-mentally and spiritually fragmented; consumed by lies and fear because maybe I won't be liked by people. I will break apart if I continue on in my people and world pleasing ways. Being scared someone might get mad at me and accepting the false, keeps me weak and without courage. AA taught me to seek God for courage, not approval from my peers. I don't have to actively not seek approval either in way of oppositional defiance, but I need to stay true to God even if that pisses off my loved ones and appears to be defiant.
I will spiritually die if I don't grow in the spirit. Old ideas I held near and dear are the weeds in my garden that strangle any new growth. Spiritual growth doesn't mean I get more material items, likes on my facebook, happily ever after, job promotion, perfect life, perfect children... If God gives me those things, great, but will I still love Him if He takes them away for my greater good??
Spiritual death comes from the battle of keeping ideas that are not in divine right order to Gods. Fighting God. If I or the group are seeking approval from the world, not God, not spiritual principles, I or the group will fall. I also better pray and think long and hard before I go around changing words and foundational principles to accommodate a worldy narrative. I better seek the spiritual implications in executing such a violation of what is, and what was written even if that isn't popular.
Being a living woman, not a walking dead entity I once was, isn't popular or easy. But I would rather have sustainable dignity supported by spiritual principle, then the temporary validation or instant gratification that the world offers by my virtue signaling in order to gain approval.
Taking the softer and easier path of least resistance isn't popular. If an agenda infects whatever group/denomination/ organization I belong to as it is not being supported by God Consciousness, then it will corrupt and fail. Good news is that there are alternatives to going down with the ship. Just because a person, leader, church, or organization spouts spirituality does not mean they are. I have to pray for discernment as to whether or not that group or person has gone reprobate.
The traditions, words and spiritual principles that were written down will always be there no matter what the popular opinion is at any given time. Popularity isn't the truth. Accommodation to the illogical isn't the truth. Any AA member or member of any organizations who want to continue to uphold the traditions and words as they were laid down, can always start a new group.
I can have an AA meeting anywhere-online through email, on the phone or in my home. I can have a church service in my living room. I can study words. I can pray for the truth. I can study the words laid out before the corruption set in and seek out how I played a part in the fall of it all.
Old ideas that I have, does not mean old ways or old traditions or old words are wrong...what was wrong was my perception of them. Words or words for a reason even if I don't like the word, or popular opinion doesn't like a word. God is God. Words are words, and they were written for a reason.