"Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities."
The Spiritual Principle of this tradition:
The spiritual substance of anonymity is sacrifice. We try to give up our natural desires for personal distinction as A.A. members both among fellow alcoholics and before the general public. We are sure that humility, expressed by anonymity, is the greatest safeguard that Alcoholics Anonymous can ever have. (Principles Before Personalities)
When I first started sponsoring women all these wonderful miracles were taking place right before my eyes as a result of them working the 12 Steps. Women would literally go from complete hopelessness, some wet brain, hatred, blaming others and total despair, to loving God, being grateful, and having a real life with real purpose. Not just alcohol went away, but the fear, anger, self pity, selflessness, etc...I too was transforming in my own sobriety on a daily basis along with were these women...being apart of this process of recovery was/is awe inspiring.
Here was the problem for me...I had no platform to boost or share this with...lol! Like I couldn't do what I would have normally did when cool stuff was going on in my life like post about it on social media or share it with friends or family. Nobody gave a crap about this stuff. So here I was, no one to tell me that "I" was doing a great job! In fact, I started to get a lot of resentment from my boyfriend who saw AA and my work with others as a distraction from him and annoyance.
My friends and family didn't get how I of all people, was finding real joy from being of service....so I was completely alone with this. I actually grieved this. I found myself feeling sorry for myself that I could share this on facebook (back when I had facebook) or get any sort of accolades for what I was doing or who I was becoming. If anything the "new me" put the people who knew before off, which I totally get now.
I before was crass and vulgar. annoyed all the time, anxious, complained a lot, anything goes, do what you want-who cares, kinda person. I prided myself on my dry quick wit and disgusting humor...also that I could debate anyone even the college grad (I wasn't) and make them look foolish. I may be a drunk, but your are stupid mentality wasn't they best way to have healthy relationships. Going from THAT to actually caring about people, and not in the "what's in it for me" way that I was use to...was completely foreign to them and me. I no longer felt the need to use people to make me feel better. I didn't need to generate drama from them-ague or win the debate. I just wanted to serve my primary purpose and have peace in doing that. So the attention whore that I was, was dying.
This Tradition I have learned is not so much about keeping me anonymous so that nobody will know that I'm a drunk (they all knew anyway) it's about keeping me from not boosting about my recovery. This is why you will never see a info infomercial on AA. You will never see cheesy 1 minute testimonies about how "AA works and for 3 easy payments of 19.95 you too can recover!" Many "societies" back in the day, including the Rockefeller's, were romancing Bill and the rest of the pioneers with fancy dinner parties, press and adoration...all the things that the ego LOVES. Fortunately for us Bill and the others did not sell out. They, being left to there own devices very well would of. With that kind of attention who wouldn't? Us...now-why, because WE have had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps and because of this great fact, Sprite trumps ego.
After they experienced the lime light and media circus, they intuitively knew they they better sit down and write some traditions. This was to safe guard this message from the vultures that saw our recovery as way to make money. This is a spiritually program, divinely guided from the beginning that money holds no power over-Wow. Think about that. Even in most religions money rules-but not in AA. You know they must have really fought hard internally NOT to give in to the all the attention...But they had armor-God could and would if he were sought ;)
We don't have to tell anyone or get accolades about good works anymore. I got free from bondage of self that drove me prior. I can get that acknowledgment directly from the Holy Spirit that dwells within me. That I don't people to be pleased with me or to validate me, restores them to sanity too.
Their role in my life does not include them having to make extra effort to make me feel good. They do not have to constantly worry if I am gonna nut out because I don't get my way...they don't have to walk on eggs shells that they will "offend me" or upset me. They get to actually relax and be themselves without the pressure of me "needing" them to get filled. When I am filled by God, they then become asset in my life, and I in theirs....not a liability.
People felt that pressure I put on them to feed me...they ended up leaving or becoming just a spiritually sick as I was. This program gives our loved ones back their intended role-companions in life...not food. I am no longer a emotional or spiritually vampire because of my own inadequacies, insecurities or nervous disposition....as a consequence, they get better too. Everyone wins when we get well...funny how that happens considering nothing was ever my fault ;)
If I disagree with someone now or a suggestion given to me, I don't have to go to war with them to prove I am right. If I am wrong, I have learned to properly and promptly admit it. If they just don't like my opinion or I don't like theirs, we in AA, put principles over personalities so there is no conflict there either. We ACCEPT the things/opinions we cannot change in others, and love them anyway...I mean seriously, where else but AA can you find that?? All spiritually!!
Another, even bigger book, states something along the lines of "where is the reward in loving those who already love you? Love those that hate you....there is great reward in that"
Also as a result of this process is that getting positive or negative feedback back or nothing at all, no longer defines me, bothers or even lifts me. Seriously....before if anyone didn't get desired "comment" on my posts or complement I would have considered that a bad day. If I had no drama that day would have been considered boring. All my worth was wrapped up in what you thought of me and stirring up sh&#. If someone gave me negative attention, I could use that as an excuse to drink or act out..."I'll show them by hurting me" is an insane concept that we know all too well. But when you are completely unaffected by peoples perceptions and go about your day normally, without obsessing on it, that's freedom on a whole different level!!
Real relief from me is living a humble quit life. Being accountable for my actions and accountable to others-and NOT having to be the center of attention! I get to walk with other human beings in this journey, not to use and feed upon them to fill me. When my relationship with God is firmly rooted, I truly do put principles before personalities.
"And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all."
Page 565-566 12 x 12