Carrying the Message
Big Book
"Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us. It is seldom wise to approach an individual, who still smarts from our injustice to him, and announce that we have gone religious. In the prize ring, this would be called leading with the chin. Why lay ourselves open to being branded fanatics or religious bores? We may kill a future opportunity to carry a beneficial message. But our man is sure to be impressed with a sincere desire to set right the wrong. He is going to be more interested in a demonstration of good will than in our talk of spiritual discoveries."
Pg 77
"12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs"
Pg 60
"Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are very ill.
Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives."
Pg 89
Principles from the Big Book regarding Sponsorship:
- When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anonymous, find out all you can about him.
- Realizing [you] are dealing with a sick person. … Put yourself in his place. So cooperate; never criticize.
- Don't deal with him when he is very drunk....
- If he does not want to see you, never force yourself upon him.
- You might place this book where he can see it in the interval.
- See your man alone [without…family], if possible.
- Tell him enough about your drinking habits, symptoms, and experiences to encourage him to speak of himself. If he wishes to talk, let him do so.
- Give him a sketch of your drinking career up to the time you quit. But say nothing, for the moment, of how that was accomplished.
- When he sees you know all about the drinking game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic.
- Give him an account of the struggles you made to stop.
- Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. Mental Twists in BB:
"The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing"-AA pg. 30
"But even in this type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened. We now see that when we began to drink deliberately, instead of casually, there was little serious or effective thought during the period of premeditation of what the terrific consequences might be"- Pg 37
"They had said that though I did raise a defense, it would one day give way before some trivial reason for having a drink. Well, just that did happen and more, for what I had learned of alcoholism did not occur to me at all. I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots"-pg 42
Hils Blah"But even in this type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened. We now see that when we began to drink deliberately, instead of casually, there was little serious or effective thought during the period of premeditation of what the terrific consequences might be"- Pg 37
"They had said that though I did raise a defense, it would one day give way before some trivial reason for having a drink. Well, just that did happen and more, for what I had learned of alcoholism did not occur to me at all. I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots"-pg 42
- And be careful not to brand him as an alcoholic.
- If he sticks to the idea that he can still control his drinking, tell him that possibly he can - if he is not too alcoholic. But insist that if he is severely afflicted, theremay be little chance he can recover by himself.
- Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady.
- Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it.
- Even though your protégé may not have entirely admitted his condition, he has become very curious to know how you got well. Let him ask you that question, if he will.
- Tell him exactly what happened to you.
- Make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God.
- He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him.
- Let him see that you are not there to instruct him in religion.
- Outline the program of action....
- Make it plain he is under no obligation to...see you again if he doesn't want to.
- Your candidate may give reasons why he need not follow all of the program. ...
- Do not contradict such views.
- On your first visit tell him about the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. If he shows interest, lend him your copy of this book.
- Do not wear out your welcome. Give him a chance to think it over.
- You will be most successful with alcoholics if you do not exhibit any passion for crusade or reform.
- Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply layout the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection.
- Show him how they [the Steps] worked with you.
- Offer him friendship and fellowship.
- Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help.
- If he expects you to act only as a banker...or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him....
- If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval.
- If he thinks he can do the job in some other way...encourage him to follow his own conscience.
- Suppose now you are making your second visit to a man. He has read this volume and says he is prepared to go through with the Twelve Steps of the program of recovery. Having had the experience yourself, you can give him much practical advice.
- Though an alcoholic does not respond, there is no reason why you should neglect his family. ... The family should be offered your way of life.
- The minute we put our work on a ‘service’ plane, the alcoholic commences to rely on our assistance…claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Nonsense.
- Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone.
- When working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate in their quarrels.
- We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution.
- Be sober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of what anyone says or does.
Sponsor and sponsee relationship is sacred because it is pure. (at least it should be) We have no power trips, no manipulation, nothing to gain or by them getting well...we sincerely just want them to thrive and get better-NO MOTIVES. That is unheard of in the world we live in. Even with our children we have motives. This relationship is God given driven all the way. We love them, because we are them. The love I feel for you all is something I can't explain-except to say it's real and it's pure. I mean, we do this for free, selflessly for a complete stranger-this kind of relationship doesn't exist anywhere else but our sacred program...We are truly blessed to have this opportunity to build up the human race by doing God's work-What an honor!! All I had to do was completely destroyed my life and humiliate myself over and over!
Sponsorship was never meant to be a co-dependent relationship. It's important that we move them into complete God reliance.We do need guidance from our sponsors, of course-especially in the beginning. As time goes on however, we get stronger in our relationship with God and He guides us to staying accountability to Him and our own conscious. I think that it's healthy though to always have a sponsor to be accountable to as long a we respect and can learn from. If not, move on-No big deal! I have been let go of and let go. Staying stuck in one way, one perspective, one sponsor is NOT what AA is about....
Letting go of old ideas, perception and conceptions. Outgrowing things I did not do! LOL! We hold on to everything and everyone even if it's killing us. Must of us stopped growing when we started drinking. So if I stated drinking at 18, my mind, my conceptions, perceptions of reality, God, people, life, politics, are ALL based on that 18 year olds interpretation of it. In my opinion.
When I was lead away from my home group, sponsor, and fellowship by my ego, I started to go way off the rails. I had been warned by my elders about this. Ego Reconstruction...cunning, baffling, powerful...It will manifest itself wherever it can isolate you or convince you that you are "different" above it all, know better then everyone. It convinced me that no one "understood" me and what was happening to me spiritually. This was deception at it' finest. Satan took my seeking God and lead me astray again. He couldn't get me through alcohol or inoprate behavior, he instead got me through spriality. My ego was more powerful then my willingness at that time-dangerous territory!!
So being grounded in a firm relationship of a God of your understanding (for me, that is Jesus Christ)
Having weekly conversation with a sponsor
Sponsoring others
Home group
Commitments
Growing in AA history, knowledge, addiction...how alcoholics opperate
A drama free home environment
Keeping comments to loved ones and friends without expectation
Feeding your marriage and relationships consistently...all this will keep us in check.
Alcoholics are doers-not thinkers. When left alone in our heads, we can create havoc based on delusions if we are not spiritually fit. A good sponsor will call you out on this-even if you don't want to hear it. When I am sponsoring/carrying the message-I am out of "me"...I am not thinking about Brian, bills, this, that...I am connected to God so I am getting fed through this right now.
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You will often see people in AA who do not sponsor. This is beyond selfish. Could you imagine if you came up with the cure for cancer and didn't share it with people. You just took the medicine and told no one about it?!? Your soul would actually start to deteriorate because of this selfish act. The level of sobriety of those who work with others as opposed to those who do not, is substantial.
We not have to worry about who our Father sends us...we do the best we can as to where we are at in our sobriety. We can't throw up our hands and quit this like we did so many others things in our life before. We stay the course-even when we think we have "messed up" or we aren't given compliments or good feedback from others. Some of my greatest learning came from negative feedback from sponsors or fellowship. I of COURSE didn't think so at the time.
Or I would write what I perceive was the best meeting ever and hear crickets-no feedback. Or critical feedback. This thickened my skin and detached me from seeking validation through my words. When I receive good back-unaffected. I don't get warm feelings about it-in fact, I rarely read meeting responses. In the beginning I did...and it did help me to develop some confidence in what I was doing-but, God made sure that I didn't let their feedback "good, bad, nothing" define me. He was to define me. He was to validate my job and feed me.
If I am worshipping my words, what others think of my words, I am now worshipping myself-replacing God. If I worship your feedback, or your perception of me, you have just become my HP.
WE and THEY are not who we are here to please. We are to represent God and by our example of what His power can do. We are walking testimonies to the Power of God and the what the program of AA looks like when it is actually worked-not attended.
Recommended Reading
Carry This Message
by Joe McQ (Author)
"As an internationally respected teacher and lecturer on the Twelve Step method introduced by Alcoholics Anonymous, Joe McQ knows that sponsorship is a key construct for the success of the program because it involves moving a person through the Twelve Step process to recovery. In the early days of AA, sponsors would come to the alcoholic's home and talk him through Steps 1 and 2, and when they were thoroughly convinced he was ready, they would start him on the program. Step 12 is the foundation of sponsorships: “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, to practice these principles in all our affairs.” Carry This Message addresses McQ's concern that sponsors have lost some skills in working with alcoholics. AA sponsors need to refocus on the Big Book, on the Twelve Steps, and on their message, urges McQ, to recognize the value of the program and to return to its roots and essence. Directed to sponsors, this is a companion book to The Steps We Took, offering tools for helping others find recovery and new life through the Twelve Step program."
Recommending Podcast
Peter M. 6th Session Winter Series 2018 12 Step House
Peter M. takes us on
a Journey Through The 12 Steps
One Step per Week for 12 Weeks
Tonight was our 6th session of 12 session
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Todays Action
- Today I will attend a face to face meeting-Showing the newcomer what sobriety looks like!
- Today I will carry the message of Alcoholics Anonymous to those who have ears to hear!
- Today I will reach out to every newcomer and be beacon of light out of the darkness!
Scripture about Feeding the Sheep
This is an interpretation of the scripture. When I read the actual scripture I ball-every time. He is making SURE that Peter feed his sheep!! If I wasn't fed, I would be dead. We feed the starving, dying alcoholics...This is why we are sober!!
Do you love Me? . . . Feed My sheep. —John 21:17
Just before Jesus left this earth, He instructed Simon Peter to care for the dearest object of His love—His sheep. How could anyone care for them as Jesus cares? Only out of love for Him. There is no other way.
Three times Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love Me?” Peter answered, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” Each time, Jesus answered, “Feed My sheep.”
Was Jesus unaware of Peter’s love? Of course not. His threefold question was not for Himself, but for Peter. He asked His questions to underscore the essential truth that only love for Christ would sustain Peter in the work that lay ahead—that arduous, demanding work of caring for people’s souls—perhaps the hardest work of all.
Jesus did not ask Peter if he loved His sheep, but if he loved Him. Affection for God’s people in itself will not sustain us. His sheep can be unresponsive, unappreciative, and harshly critical of our efforts to love and to serve them. In the end, we will find ourselves defeated and discouraged.
The “love of Christ”—our love for Him—is the only sufficient motivation that will enable us to stay the course, to continue to feed the flock of God. Thus Jesus asks you and me, “Do you love Me? Feed My sheep.”